Tag Archives: God’s Plan

It’s Been A Long Time Since I Rock and Rolled.

It’s been a long time since I rock and rolled . . . .Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.

Yes, it has been a long time since I wrote on my blog. And yes “Rock n Roll” by Led Zeppelin is currently playing over my computer speakers right now. As I went to type in a title for this post the song popped into my head. Thanks dad.

But I figured it was time to pick up the keyboard and monitor again. When 6 people give you compliments on a blog you haven’t written on in months you know it is something you should not give up on. Thanks everyone who reads my blog and who encourages me. But on to the main point of this blog post today . . .

One compliment I received last month also came with an assignment. I was asked what would be the one thing I would like to say to today’s high school students. Particularly the ones from my old high school, or others that attend Christian high schools. So this, almost two months later . . . is what I would say.

Know your worth.

What something is worth, what value it holds, is a thought that I often find myself pondering over. I was recently launched into this thought while watching a movie with my hubby, Jim-Dear. It was one of our favorites. One of the scenes, however, struck me in a new way. I sat in silence for about 10 minutes after the movie was done and re-watched the scene in my mind and replayed how it had made me feel. The simple beauty of this scene was truly a short narrative on how we can place value on beauty, craftsmanship, and things that sparkle, but in the end, these objects are truly worthless unless someone is around to value them. They are only worth what enjoyment they can bring. The characters they . . . well I will let them speak for themselves . . . here is the clip.

(Note: the link I provided starts the clip after the part where they mention the King James Version term for a donkey. If you want to avoid that language then do not watch the clip from the beginning.)

http://youtu.be/eHbUFzTHUhI?t=25s

Ah yes, Zombieland. It is a truly a deep intellectual movie on the frail existence of humans and all we hold dear. As I watched this scene I felt my heart drop. They were destroying beautiful things. That snow globe was probably $45! Don’t they care about . . . about . . . about what? It is the end of the world. They are one of the few people left. What is a price tag to them? What things hold value? Tallahassee spends most of this movie desperately searching for a Twinkie. A common cheap snack becomes the most priceless thing in the world to him.

As humans we assign price tags to almost everything. In my econ 101 class in college things had worth depending on where they would fall on the supply and demand curve. In my marketing classes an object worth depended on how much hype its branding and commercials could bring to it. As Seen On TV product commercials taught me that items should be worth something and 99 cents.

I take a look at my wedding ring and wonder why we car so much about diamonds, silver, and gold. If we enjoy and cherish shiny objects so much, why is tinfoil still so cheap?

It is a complicated process deciding what something is worth. Is it rare? Is it “beautiful”? How much does it cost to make? How badly can I make you want it?

But what it really all comes down to is . . .we, as humans put a number on it. Some human got to decide what the clothes you are wearing are worth. Not only how much the fabric itself should cost, but also how much value the name on the tag holds.

It is really a silly system if you think about it. Someone creates a number. Someone prints some paper. You get to hand over some paper for an object. If you truly stop and think about it, it seems a bit ridiculous. The cash that we use and the credit cards that we swipe transfer these numbers that we call money. But, money is something we decided we wanted to place value in.

But what is OUR value? And who gets to decide? Believe me, many people will try to decide your value for you. You probably already know this. Your value to someone could depend on your clothes, your makeup, your hair, your smell, you intelligence, your athleticism, your humor, or your talents. Your value can change depending on who you hang out with or what you do with your weekends.

But isn’t that silly? As humans we enjoy putting a value on people as well as objects. But isn’t it silly. Why do I care what you think? Why do you get to put a value on me? Why am I never any good at placing a value on myself? Other people are not more “worthy” than you. They are just normal people too. We are all organs, muscle, skin, brains, and heart. At least that is all that we can see when we look at each other. So that is what we try to put a value on. But we are much more, aren’t we?

We are also a soul. That is what God sees. God not only sees our clothes, friends, talents, and hobbies, He sees our tue hearts, our thoughts, and our souls. God has put a value on every single one of our souls. We are priceless. We are worth everything to Him and that is what He gave in order to have us. He gave Himself. He gave Jesus. He suffered and died. An almighty, powerful God who could wipe us all out with a whisper and create a whole new universe in the next breathe thinks that you . . . YOU . . . are an amazing person and He wants to spend an eternity showing you your worth.

It is silly isn’t it. How often do we rip off the price tag God put on us, priceless, and instead believe the lies that the world tells us. We pick up the sticker that says clearance, 50% off. We put ourselves out on the rummage sale for only 50 cents, hoping that at that price someone will love us. We believe people when they walk buy and turn up their noses. They tell us we are the wrong color, the wrong shape, the wrong style. We hang our heads and believe that we are worthless. Silly.

But it happens. It is a lie that we will all battle the rest of our lives. Some days it will be easier than others to remember what our true worth is, but it will be hard.

In the end (the true end, the glorious one, not the one filled with zombies) all of this human silliness will fade away. Not all that glitters is gold. And even if it is gold who cares? It is just an expensive rock. God is our true prize and we are His amazing creation.

Know your worth. Not worthless, but priceless. Not lost, but saved. Not despised, but loved. We are not perfect, but we are accepted by the one who is. Enjoy the little things and remember not to get caught up in the price tag games that the world likes to play.

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There is a reason. There is a rhyme.

Plans

Last Thursday morning I woke up early to the morning sun shinning through the walls of my tent. I had a morning prayer and then laid there for a while. In part to open my ears to God’s voice and in part to relax yet as I heard no one else stirring in our campground.

When I did hear stirring I got up and put on my running gear. We, two of the women leaders and I, went for a nice 2 mile jog. We got back, slightly sweaty and hot, stretched out and got ready for breakfast. It was going to be another wonderful day filled with fellowship and music here at the Sonshine festival. I was enjoying getting to know the youth group that I was helping to watch over.

Fast forward a couple of hours. I am sitting alone, leaning up against a tree. Crying. I had been crying for at least an hour and I could not stop. I was feeling like a high school girl again. Left out and forgotten. Why could I not seem to cement together a friendship, why was I always the person on the outskirts. Most of these feelings were completely unfounded. A demon or two had managed to find me here, tap me on the shoulder, and whisper in my ear. My friends were trying to get a hold of me, even though I told them I wanted some space. I did not want anyone to see that I had been crying. I tried and tried and tried to shake these feelings. I prayed, I talked to James on the phone (he would be arriving at the festival tonight) and I asked God why I just could not feel better right now. Well, He knew why.

I eventually pulled myself together and headed back to the group. Despite that little upset, the day went wonderfully from there. We watched more bands and I learned some new games with the youth group.

Evening came and we gathered at the tarps by the main stage. After a bit the main female youth leader, who is also one of my closest friends up here, came over and sat by me. One of the girls in the youth group is struggling greatly with depression and cutting, I knew this, it was part of the reason I gave my testimony in church a few weeks back. It was something I struggle with as well. Anyway, the youth leader had noticed the girl seemed to be struggle today. With all the spiritual and emotional stuff going on around her, I am sure her spirit was trying to break free and feel the joy of the day and I am sure her darkness was trying to drag her down. The youth leader told her that she knew she could come talk to me, but this youth was worried that I was fine, that I now had it all together and wouldn’t understand anymore. Ha. So the youth leader asked if I would watch for an opportunity to talk to her and see if I could connect and help. I said sure.

As LeCrae, a rapper that one of my friends was excited for, was ready to take the stage a bunch of us went to head to the front. Only one youth group kid remained, the one who was struggling. I stopped and asked her why. She had wanted to head back to the campground to grab something she had left behind and was waiting for a time to ask the female youth leader to go back with her. I said, oh you could probably go ask her now, and as she got up to ask I turned and continued heading up to the stage, not really thinking.

WHACK. Spiritual two by four to the head. Oh, Oh yea. . . um that probably was my opportunity wasn’t it God? Oops. I turned around and caught them just in time and I offered to take her, since the female youth leader had already walked three other kids to the camper and back this evening.

The youth and I gabbed all the way to the camper. I really didn’t know how to start this conversation. I am not sure if she even knows that I know about her depression. I just kept the conversation going hoping to find an opening. On the way back she quietly asks, “Were you scared when you gave your testimony?” Here goes. I talked about my thoughts on giving my testimony and the conversation went into more of my struggles and how I feel when I am depressed. “That’s how I feel too!” She actually seemed to have a little excitement in her voice.

I did not try to help today. I did not try to tell her what to do to feel better. We just talked about what we feel and what we think and she was comforted to know that she was not alone. That these problems were not just her own, but that for once she had found someone who could relate with her. I told her I had broken down earlier that day and that even though I haven’t cut in over six years I still struggle with depression. I told her it gets better. Some days I can manage it better.

I am the way I am for a reason. I am broken. I am perfect.