What an awesome God we serve.
I hate it when I have a great idea. Don’t you? No? Not all of you? I am sure some of you think that way. Let me explain.
I shared in my last post that I do not like to share. I worked very hard in high school on my appearance. Not just my looks, but my actions. I wanted to be the typical, non-wave making, friendly teenager. I was a little more outgoing in college, but there was still that lingering love-hate relationship with attention.
We love attention, especially when that attention comes with compliments. Some people are more introverted than others, but no one likes to be overlooked all the time. No one wants to be ignore and forgotten by their peers.
We hate attention, especially when it invites criticism. Every time we allow the limelight to fall on us, we run the risk of it exposing our flaws and our short comings along with it showing our genius. No matter how extroverted you are, no matter how well established your self-esteem and confidence are, no one likes to be criticized. No one wants to look like a failure in front of their peers.
This is why I became nervous as I watch new ideas flash across my brain. James and I have recently become the Youth Group Worship Leaders. We have been given the delight of leading the youth group in two or three worship songs every Wednesday before they go into their groups. We want to show them that worshiping isn’t just singing the songs we sing in church. Worship can be crazy songs, meaningful songs, loud songs, prayerful songs. It could be just rhythm or even no song at all. It could be meditation and thankfulness.
We also wanted to get the kids involved. So I bought a cajon, a box drum. We wanted to play the song Mountaintop by The City Harmonic, and that song is not the same without a drum. However, we are without an experienced drummer. So I bought a drum that does not require an experienced drummer! I played it for this time, but we are trying to come up with a time where we can teach some of the youth to enjoy it as well. It would be best if we had two, but we didn’t have enough money for that. So we thought that one would just have to do with now.
Wednesday came, we played. I was filled with worry that this was a poor purchase. I started to worry that the idea of getting the youth involved with worship, starting with this box drum, was going down the drain. No one liked it. It won’t work to teach them. Every one there saw my failure and is now aware and talking about how I think that I am clever but really I am self centered and only a mediocre worship leader. My limelight showed my flaws and I failed. At least, that is how I felt.
“Dear God, please let me know how we should proceed. How can we help these kids become more engaged and fall more in love with worshiping you?”
So during work today I was talking to one of my supervisors, who is also one of the youth leaders, about how we had the idea of letting the kids take turns with the box drum and hopefully finding some who would like to play it. She seemed slightly interested and told me the kids really liked the song we sang on Wednesday. Confidence bolstered. She then went to help a coworker carry the community pop from her car to our break room. “Kristin!” She exclaimed, “There is a box drum in the back of her car that she has been trying to sell for six months. I will make a call and I am thinking the youth group will buy it so we can have two!”
Blessings and encouragement come in all shapes and sizes. Mine looks like a box.