Defense is the best offense. Or is that the other way around? I could never remember. Regardless, that is the rule that my hedgie lives by. The times she will actually tolerate my appearance by her cage as she runs, long-legged on her wheel, I am surprised with how fast she can really! *Sonic, he can really move, Sonic, he’s got an attitude! Sonic, he’s the fastest thing alive!!* My Amy Rose may not be blue, or pink, but she can move.
Then why, when I set her on the floor, does she prefer to huff herself into a prickly ball of noises and quills instead of making a run for it? Why does being defensive come so naturally?
Right now she is hiding in her purple tube. She was out in the cage before, but as James and I returned from bowling we heard her scurry into hiding when we flicked on the lights. I sat down and looked at her cage “Hey, whatcha doing Rose?”. Her salt and pepper’ed butt sticking out of the tube with just her head and front feet inside of it. She really needs to get better at this hiding thing. She always seems to think that I cannot see her.
Why do we become so defensive when the light shines on our life? When we get called out in our small groups, in Sunday school, or by our friends. There we are, just going about our business, running in circles and getting our hands dirty, and then someone calls us out on it. Someone turns on a light and asks, “Hey, watcha doing there?” And all of a sudden we realize that we are vulnerable. So we hide.
Most of the time the person trying to peer into our lives is our own Creator and Savior. I am sure he laughs at our pathetic attempt to hide our faces and our dirty hands and feet. He sees us as we try to crawl our way back into the shadows so He will not realize what we have been up to. I tried to hide my depression and cutting for a long time. I would go to Church and school and talk the talk with my friends and walk the walk with my family. Then I would leave God at the doorway to my room as I entered back into the darkness that was my anger and doubt.
It took me a long time to realize that God could still see me and that He still cared. It took me a long time to let God into that part of my life and fill it with light. Even now, when the light fills my life my first instinct is to defend the soft and vulnerable underbelly that are my shortcomings.
Why do we try to hide so much of ourselves? Why do we Christians hide in our churches and behind our Bibles and behind our good actions? If we would just be real with ourselves, real with others, and real with our God then we can really have some great offense.